Found at imao.us:
FUN FACTS ABOUT THE AR-15
* The inventor of the AR-15 was Satan, though his patent has since expired.
* Scientists have confirmed the deadly effects of an AR-15 by giving it to a chimpanzee who then murdered them.
* Scientists agree that each year the AR-15 will grow more deadly until it kills everyone in the entire world.
* Some believe that Hitler was in fact an AR-15 in a rubber mask.
* In the Garden of Eden, God gave Adam and Eve access to every firearm out there except for the AR-15 which he told them not to touch because it was too evil. But then the NRA, in the guise of a serpent, told Eve that the AR-15 is really fun to shoot. So then Eve took the AR-15 and started shooting all the animals in the garden because she is one awesome chick.
* The part that makes the AR-15 so extra deadly is the handle on top. The AR-15 would be used in less murders if it were more inconvenient to carry.
* It was an AR-15 that told Miley Cyrus to dance like that.
* Bullets that are normally harmless will kill instantly when fired out of the AR-15.
* The reason AR-15s have that prominent handle on them is because the most requested feature for an assault rifle was to be able to carry it like a Hello Kitty lunch box.
* If you find yourself surrounded by AR-15, know that they will fire automatically if they sense fear.